Friends of Justice

“On Wednesday, my Mother got some bad news. She went to the doctors and was diagnosed with lung cancer. The doctors scheduled her for something like 3 or 4 tests, and an operation within two weeks. I think they caught it early.

“My Mother has been my strength throughout my incarceration. She has kept me centered. The thing I look forward to the most when I finally get out, is spending time with her. Taking care of her. My life is something of a train wreck, and it has had nothing but a bad impact on my Mother’s life. She deserves some peace in life.”

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I hope some of you are reading these remarkable posts from Shane. He paints a chilling picture of the prison life of an innocent person.

“How many times have you ever been accused of doing something you know you did not do? When that accusation comes, don’t you vehemently deny it? Have you noticed that the more serious the false allegation against you, the more forceful the denial? The most serious and disgusting allegations invoke anger.

“I have been told there are two major differences between those who are guilty, and those who are innocent, in prison. The first is to say that the innocent are always angry. Angry because both the system has failed them in a colossal way, and the accusation remains with them the entire time they are in prison. If it angers you to be falsely accused, then think what it must be like to have that same false allegation pointed at you daily. The second difference is that those who are guilty sleep at night, and those who are innocent do not. Try to imagine being trapped in a nightmare you can not get away from even while you are awake. Your mind will not let things rest, and therefore you do not rest.”

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“I am wondering what the word, “lonely” means to all of you? For me, it takes much more of a surreal meaning. It breeds feelings of emotional pain, anxiety, and desperation. I am sure you are saying you feel these things as well. So, let me enlighten you as to what I am really talking about.

“There was a time when I would get to feeling lonely, I would simply find family or a friend to talk to. I would go to their house, call them on the phone, or sometimes they would just show up. I was with people I greatly cared for. All of those feelings would slip away into some place in the back of my mind. Just waiting for the next opportunity to present themselves. Keeping in mind, the internet was not as prevalent in our society when I was a free man as it is now. Social media was in its infancy. From what I can tell, social media has not helped us build our social skills. A cold computer screen does not convey things like, tone of voice, facial and body expressions, or other body language that can express so much more than any written word can. That is another subject I suppose.”

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“Over the years, I saw the strength my Mother had in uncertain times. I do not think anything I did would be considered brave. I still think it is something I needed to go through. So, I just followed my Mother’s example. I stood up and stepped forward. I have been doing this for 25 years now. The fear, uncertainty, and anger have become a part of my everyday life. It is hard to remember what it was to live without those things so very present everyday. The toll it takes on your confidence, your trust in others, and how you view the world is more than anyone should have to pay.

“I am a social pariah to everyone (staff and inmate alike) in prison. The vast majority do not care about my claims of innocence. Even if they would be willing to look at the evidence, their first response is usually something like, ‘You had to do something to get all of that time.’ It really is a no win scenario.”

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“I have always said that I spend most of my time either attempting to prove my innocence or preparing myself for when I do finally go home. Among the ways I work to prepare myself is to try to create new programs for the entire inmate population. You see, ODRC does not always have the educational opportunities I would need to ready myself. So, I try to create those programs just so I can take them myself. Unfortunately, there are staff members that throw roadblocks at every turn. Such as the situation I mentioned in my last post.”

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“I was talking with another inmate, who also claims actual innocence, when the subject of a support network came up. I watched as tears welled up in this man’s eyes, as he spoke of the few supporters he had were dying off. Literally, dying. Inmates lose family members while they are incarcerated. It is difficult enough to lose a family member, and not be able to say goodbye as it is. When that family member is the total of your support system, it has a deeper impact on the inmate. When they are lost, hope is lost with them. The possibility of a future is gone.”

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“Detective McLaughlin skipped the logical first steps that such a letter might have set in motion. He did not consult the priest’s personnel file – which revealed nothing about his ever being in Florida. And he did not consult Monsignor John Quinn, the named originator of the story.

“Instead, armed with the explosive Florida murder-molestation letter, McLaughlin set out to interview dozens of parents and their adolescent sons who had prior contacts with MacRae. Within a week, the entire community was in a state of alarm about the murderous lecher-priest in its midst.”

Read the article by Ryan MacDonald.

The NCRJ is a longtime supporter of Gordon MacRae.

We were deeply saddened last Friday to receive a message from Don’s daughter, informing us that her wonderful father had left us the Monday before.

I first met Don 24 years ago, at a conference about wrongful convictions in Salem, Massachusetts. Our last email exchange, not that long ago, reminisced about that conference. Don also told me that he was finishing his book on the Michael Pardue case and planned to immediately start on his next one. At the age of 94.

My email correspondence with Don began not long after Salem. He was one of the first supporters of Bernard Baran, the NCRJ’s first major case. Although then approaching 80, Don would drive from Connecticut to Worcester, Massachusetts to attend the many hearings that preceded Baran’s release. I well remember the many delightful breakfasts and lunches we shared at that time. Don would also make the longer drive to Bridgewater, Massachusetts to visit Baran in prison.

When the NCRJ was founded in 2002, Don graciously accepted our invitation to serve on our Board of Advisors. Don was devoted to the NCRJ, frequently attending Annual Meetings and teleconferences.

Don was a true gentleman and scholar. He led a fascinating life and was a most entertaining conversationalist. You can learn more about this amazing man by reading this obituary from the New York Times.

“I see inmate after inmate get caught being high or in possession of drugs, and nothing of any significance happens to them. For that matter, in a few short weeks after being caught, they are likely to get one of the coveted institutional jobs. I get a really minor rules infraction, and I lose my institutional job, educational opportunities, my merit status, and it could take me years to get only a small part of that back.”

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